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the beer drinker 1/16/2011
A man walks in the door after a day at the office to find his
wife crying at the kitchen table. Whats wrong? he asks.
I went to the store today, and a horrible man looked up my
skirt. He said, ˜Id like to fill that with beer and drink
it, she sobs. I wish youd been there to kick his ass.
Listen, honey, Ive repeatedly told you to wear panties
every day, replies the husband. ...
1 Comments, 186 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
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at dinner 1/16/2011
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.
Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away)
suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair
and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his
chair and out of sight under the table.
Still, the woman dining ...
1 Comments, 139 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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show me the money 1/16/2011
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do
now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon.
Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded,
"If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't
be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear,
if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be
in Florida, we wouldn't be on a honeymoon, nor would
there be any "we" in the first ...
1 Comments, 107 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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first time swallowing 1/8/2011
ill never forget the time i had this hot girl swallow for
me. the look on her face was priceless. so innocent but so
confused LOL.
0 Comments, 181 Views,
0 Votes
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Size Doesn't Matter 1/1/2011
A couple had been dating for about a month, but the guy was
afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one evening, he gets up his courage, and takes her
to lovers' lane. While they are making out, he opens
his zipper and places her hand on his penis.
"Stop! How dare you!" the girl says. "You
know I don't smoke."
1 Comments, 304 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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marriage proposal 12/27/2010
When asked if there was anything they would have changed
about one of the most romantic moments of their lives, several
women said a 'bigger diamond!'
54% of men still get down on one knee. 44% of men ask their partner's father for permission
to marry. 57% of men cry when she said yes. 65% of women say he could have put more effort and preparation
into the proposal. 25% of couples wait ...
1 Comments, 128 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score
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New Years Eve Dream 12/26/2010
Janice was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve
before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided
to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me
a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you
think it all means?'
'Aha, you'll know tonight, ' answered Max
smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached
Janice and handed her small ...
1 Comments, 132 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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New Years Eve Party 12/26/2010
Trevor's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence
with numerous guests arriving. During the evening, a man
knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one
knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the
kitchen. He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple
of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. 'You
know, ' he confided to Trevor, 'I wasn't
even ...
2 Comments, 133 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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the Maple Leaf 12/24/2010
After being escorted to the witness box and sworn in, the
little old man was asked by the lawyer to explain what had
happened. He described the events that led up to the incident and finally
got to the main issue of the case, saying, "..and that's
when she hit me with a maple leaf!"
"Surely that couldn't have inflicted any serious
injury on you, sir, " the lawyer said.
"Are you ...
1 Comments, 116 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Who Makes the Coffee 12/24/2010
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should
brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee."
The husband said, "You're in charge of the cooking
around here and you should do it, because that's your
job. I can just wait for my coffee."
The wife replied, "No ...
3 Comments, 131 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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Tom and Linda 12/24/2010
Tom was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table,
reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article
about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football
player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common
knowledge.
He turned to his wife Linda, with a look of question on his
face.
"I'll never understand why the biggest shmucks
get the ...
1 Comments, 111 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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Night of the black strap on ! 12/18/2010
I picked up this 6 ft tall knockout of a brunette back
in the late 70's in a disco one mild winter night. She
lived in a two story apartment townhouse with her bedroom
upstairs. Just as sweet as she could be seemed like. Was
always licking her lips like Cher.
After we had sex (and it was great too) she went into her bathroom
and came out wearing a big black strap on dick that looked ...
5 Comments, 280 Views,
15 Votes
,3.13 Score
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Larry asnd Susan 12/17/2010
The barn at Larry and Susan's farm burned down, and
Susan called the insurance company. Susan: "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand
and I want my money." Agent: "Wait just a minute, Susan... it doesn't
work quite like that. We will determine the value of the
old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."
Susan, after a pause: "I'd like to cancel the
policy on my husband"
1 Comments, 166 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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well get this 12/16/2010
ok well me and a "friend" waz you know doing the
dam thing when he went down on me and boy was it feeling good
till he stoped and said as he grabed my lips and said im the
pussy monster and i have come to invade the town of penis!
got to love him!
3 Comments, 184 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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the state trooper 12/16/2010
An 85-year old husband and wife decide to take a road trip.
She drives because she can see and he rides because he can
hear.
After traveling for a while, they get pulled over by a State
Trooper. She rolls down her window and the cop says "I
need to see your drivers license and vehicle registration
please." The woman turns to her husband and shouts
"WHAT DID HE SAY?" The husband replies, ...
2 Comments, 162 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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The Hammer 12/16/2010
The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're
charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You
bastard." The judge says, "You're also
charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with
a hammer." The voice in the back of the courtroom yells
out, "You God-damned bastard." The judge stops,
and says to the guy in the back of the ...
1 Comments, 147 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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the funeral service 12/16/2010
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed
away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying
the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall,
jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the
casket and find that the woman is actually alive!
She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again,
a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, ...
1 Comments, 128 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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adi_cool 12/15/2010
any girl have to give me kiss?
1 Comments, 20 Views,
0 Votes
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adi_cool 12/15/2010
any girl have my cock in her pussy?
0 Comments, 13 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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adi_cool 12/15/2010
any girl suck me for half hour?
0 Comments, 7 Views,
0 Votes
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adi_cool 12/15/2010
any girl suck me and taste my cock?
0 Comments, 5 Views,
0 Votes
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adi_cool 12/15/2010
any girl suck me?
0 Comments, 7 Views,
0 Votes
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newlywed farm couple 12/15/2010
A young farmer is newly married and the couple can't
get enough of it. Just before leaving the house for the fields
at down, they tear off a piece, and when he returns home at
evening they have another go, before and after supper,
and maybe a couple more during the night. The problem is
during the day: the fields are a long way from the house,
and the young man loses so much time traveling home ...
1 Comments, 130 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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one fall day 12/14/2010
One Fall day, Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed
a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was
a second hearse which was followed by a man walking solemnly
along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking
in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following
the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse.
"My wife, " the man replied. "I'm
sorry, " ...
1 Comments, 111 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Internet connection ! 12/14/2010
There was this young man, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.
It was wonderful, the experience of his life. But, it did
not last. A Hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship went
down almost instantly.
The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island.
There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no
supplies, nothing. The man looked around. There were some
bananas and ...
5 Comments, 117 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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Doctor ! Doctor ! 12/14/2010
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a set of curtains! Pull
yourself together, man!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bell. Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a
ring.
Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.
Don't let people push you around.
Sigmund Freud by Deddi Shy Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking
I'm invisible. Who said that?! ...
1 Comments, 63 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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senior citizen romance 12/13/2010
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband
was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and
wanted to talk.
She said: "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and
tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: "Then you use to kiss
me."
Mildly irritated, he reached ...
1 Comments, 94 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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New Panties ! 12/3/2010
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties
in order to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on
the sofa opposite her husband.
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs enough times
till her husband says, "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Y-e-e-s-s-s, " she answers with a seductive
smile.
"Thank God for ...
6 Comments, 146 Views,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score
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the card game 12/3/2010
Boudreau, Thibodeau, Pierre, Trusclair, and Old Man John
were playing cards in the back room at Pierre’s Bar. Suddenly
Old Man John grabbed his chest, groaned, and fell over dead.
Everybody was upset but nobody wanted to be the one to tell
John’s wife Jean... Finally Boudreau accepted the task.
“You gotta break it to her gently. We don’t want Miss
Jean to think we had ...
2 Comments, 81 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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used parrot 12/3/2010
Mary decided to surprise her husband Boudreau with a parrot
for his birthday. At the local pet store, the one parrot
available was priced at $29.95.
“Why so inexpensive?” she asked the pet store owner.
“Well, he used to live in a house of and sometimes
says vulgar things.”
Since Boudreau’s birthday was the next day, she went
ahead and bought the bird. ...
3 Comments, 93 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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